Pffft. Disappointed.

Dear Splodgies

I'm feeling like this, this evening: 

Grumpy, disappointed. And if I'm honest a bit pissed off. Today I got an email telling me that I'd not been shortlisted for an interview for a job that I really really wanted. I'd spent a really long time writing a really good cover letter, and got lots of people to proof read it- people who really knew what they were talking about and were in the biz. I was so confident that my application was so good I would at least be interviewed. I was sure I was perfect for the job, but I wasn't so arrogant to think that getting it would be a complete breeze. I was definitely going to get an interview. 

So my initial reaction to receiving the rejection email was "Did they even read my application??" But then I took time to properly read the email. "We received an overwhelming number of applications, and the standard was very high. Unfortunately you were not short listed for interview". I understood. It was a great job, and I didn't expect to be the only applicant. It was in a big city, known for experimental theatre. I really cared about getting this job, and making a difference in the work that I do. Despite my best efforts they- well I don't want to say "didn't want to interview me", I think "were unable to interview me" is probably a more accurate guess. But I thought the best thing I could do was to reply and thank them for their consideration. 

So I did. I also asked them to give me some feedback, because if nothing else I can learn from this! Perhaps next time I apply for  a job like that, it will be their feedback that helps me make my application stand out enough for interview. Let's hope so! 

Today, this is me choosing to remain positive:

See you tomorrow!

-Rosa

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Fear of Frank

Dear Splodgies

Today I was thinking about the things that people decide not to say- kind of linking back to the post I wrote about bravery. People speak frankly because it's a form of brutal honesty- but not nescessarily a cruel one. I think being frank is important, so... I think I'm going be more frank from now on. Even though it can be scary! And I think you should do. It can only do good! 

Today, this is me:

See you tomorrow!

-Rosa

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Neglected Uke?

Dear Splodgies

Recently I've been having a quandary about my ukes. Here's a picture of them, hanging out and being deep and moody and poetic in black and white and all that jazz:

From left to right, they are a soprano, a tenor and a baritone. It occurred to me recently that I hadn't tuned my baritone in months- this is partly because now that I've had them a while, all my ukuleles stay in tune for longer- but this was mostly because I've not played it in ....well quite a long time. This means that I spent a couple of hours today playing all of my ukuleles.

The thing is though, I usually play my tenor ukulele. It's the one I use at work, it's the one I use to teach with. It's the one that feels the most comfortable in my hands, the frets are spaced really nicely, and I can stretch a long way on it. It's the first ukulele I owned after starting to take ukulele seriously. 

But I don't want to forget my other two either. And of course, I don't want to forget little blue either. Little blue has been living with Sarah for a while, but has come back to roost in Lancaster for a little while. My little soprano in this picture was the ukulele I bought when I was in America, so that I'd have a decent ukulele to play while I was there - Not that little blue was no good at the time, just that I'd not restrung little blue at this point, and the tenor was too big to take with me. So I bought that one.

And the baritone was a present for my 22nd birthday. I broke one of the strings the first day I had it, because I was trying to tune it as if it were a soprano or tenor, and then went on a panicked trip around town looking for a replacement. When I found it, my dad replaced the string (I'd never replaced wound strings before, but this was also before I could competently do it myself) and then when my friends came over I was able to play along as if nothing had gone wrong. I was so petrified because I had originally gone to the music shop to choose an electroacoustic concert uke, but had found this one and decided I rather liked it. And I was pleased that I did in the end, because playing baritone ukulele is completely different to playing the other kinds of ukulele (don't even get me started on U-Bass. I don't like them- they look cool, but feel really weird to play) and this made me learn and understand more about the way chords and pitches work. So I'm really glad.

But I've feel like I've been neglecting them and they must be sad without me there to play them- even though I am there, and I am able to play them- I'm not doing so because I'm playing the tenor so much that I'm not playing the others. Perhaps the soprano and the baritone don't like the tenor for this reason, so now that they're leaning up at the wall together again (because I take it out of the house so frequently, the tenor is often in it's case) they're picking on it!! Well I played them all today, so hopefully they'll be feeling ok about each other.

...yes I know ukuleles don't have feelings. But I have feelings about ukuleles.

Today, this is me having satisfactorily tunes all my ukes: 

See you tomorrow!

-Rosa

x

House Ghost/ new housemate

Dear Splodgies

I would've written about this yesterday, but I'd been putting off my bravery post for too long and I really wanted that to go up before this. Thanks for everyone's comments by the way, its really interesting to read what you think.

Anyway- When I got in from work yesterday, there were a number of things that made me think "we have a new housemate". These things were:

• A new bottle of shampoo in my shower. Which I guess I'm sharing now.
• A whole bunch of extra food on the bottom shelf of the fridge
• a piece of paper on the table with words like "deposit" and "rent" and some numbers

So I thought I'd text the landlord and ask him what was happening. He said that we did have a new housemate, but even though I asked him what the new housemate's name was, the only information I got was "He works nights". So literally the only thing I know about the new housemate is that he likes garnier fructus shampoo and is a he. 

Before I got the text about him working nights, I'd knocked on his door and got no response. So I had probably interrupted his sleep. I felt bad about it, but not for very long. 

Reasons I stopped feeling bad about it:

• He has blatantly avoided me for nearly 48 hours, even though I've tried to introduce myself
• He has used my moisturiser and various things in the bathroom even though they were in a little box to the side.
• He stole my toilet paper
• He used my white face cloth to clean something that was apparently very dirty, and has left it over the radiator in the bathroom covered in stains. Without so much as a note to say "sorry I've ruined it"

....I have to admit I am a bit pissed off. But I'm moving out in less than a month, so I won't need to put up with it for very long. In the mean time, if he gives me any more reason for war, I'm going to start playing music very loudly whilst taking showers in the middle of the day. 

Today this is me feeling incredulous/plotting revenge:

See you tomorrow!

-Rosa

x

On bravery

Dear Splodgies

Many thanks for your patience over the last few days! Sorry I've not been blogging as well recently. I've been super busy trying to sort out what will be happening in my life when my job ends. 

Last night (technically two nights ago as I was supposed to post this yesterday) I was thinking a great deal about bravery. Because I often feel as though I am being brave- even though it my look as though I am just going about my business as usual. In fact, a few months ago I said to someone "Every day I am brave" and I think the vast majority of the time this is true. Because to me, it seems nescessary.

Before I go into that a little more, I need your help with something. Defining bravery. I think this probably has a very different definition depending on who you ask. If you ask a surgeon what bravery is, they might say it is performing a risky operation. If you ask a fire fighter what bravery is, they might say that it is waiting to know that a building is safe to go into before you try to save anyone else, even if that building is on fire. 

I think what's key to all these definitions of bravery that I can think of is that they all come with an element of risk involved in each one. They all require exposure to the potential of something bad happening in the hope that something good will happen, and knowing full well the concequences of what might happen if things went wrong.

I asked Siri to define bravery and was told that bravery is "a quality of spirit that allows you to face danger or pain without showing fear" and then a second definition "feeling no fear". But the crucial difference between the two is that the first suggests that for bravery to exist, fear is nescessary. But the second definition is suggests the opposite.  It seems to suggest that an absence of fear is the same as bravery. 

Please- let me know what you think about what bravery is. I'm really interested to know if people's thoughts chime with mine... I think it's a very telling part of a person's character to know what they think is brave.

I had planned to write more than this, but I've been extremely busy today, so shan't write anymore this evening. I'll definitely write more about this another time though. 

Yesterday, this was me: 

Yesterday because I lost the photo I was going to use for today. That and I'm literally about to go to sleep.

See you tomorrow!

-Rosa

x

That funny feeling...

Hello Splodgies! 

The blogpost I was intending to publish this evening is currently sitting in the email inbox of my work computer... I was going to email it to myself but forgot to press send because I am a dope. 

In other news I have one of those funny feelings- the ones were you feel slightly sick with a mixture of nerves and anticipation and excitement. I'll tell you more about it tomorrow when I have time. For now though enjoy this awesome video: 

....Yeah, I know its not halloween. But this video is still funny. 

I'll tell you more about the slightly sick with nerves/anticipation/excitement thing tomorrow.

Today, this is me, alone in the office (again): 

I knew I was going to be alone so I brought my digital radio in with me (Because my computer speakers are rubbish) and listened to BBC 6 music all day. Not once did they play any of my requests! :( Never mind. 

See you tomorrow!

-Rosa

x

postponed

Dear Splodgies

I have a lot of thoughts about many things zipping around my head, and not much energy with which to fully type them all out. So if you are wondering what they are, please come back again tomorrow and I will explain more fully. I've even set aside time specially tomorrow to write about this. But for now...

Today, this is me... ON AN EMPTY BUS! 

See you tomorrow!

-Rosa

x