Bertha isn't Brenda.

Hello Splodgies!! 

So I have this little phrase I like to say "What's on the agenda, Brenda?" meaning "what's going on?" and today I posted a facebook status that said "What's on the agenda, Brenda? Apparently lots of horrible, heavy rain" - because I thought for some reason that the tail end of the hurricane we've been experiencing was Hurricane Brenda, rather than what it really was- Hurricane Bertha. I have no idea why I thought it was Brenda, but... it wasn't Brenda.

But now that I know its Bertha, I cannot get this song out of my head: 

I don't recall this show being in any way interesting other than its theme tune and the fact that it appeared to be animated by the same people that did Charlie Chalk. Basically, every episode featured this scenario:

"Oh Bertha, we're supposed to be making (insert product here- could be literally anything, because Bertha was so great)" 

and then "Oh no! Something's wrong with Bertha!" 

"What are we going to do?!"

"We have to get this order out on time, or our customers will be unsatisfied!" 

"Quick! Someone fix Bertha!"

"Waaaay ahead of you!"

"So she's fixed now?"

"Lets see!"

"Ah good! She's working again, lets get our order out on time!"

....which to me is a rather dull premise for a children's TV show... And extremely repetitive. Though having said that, The Chuckle Brothers managed to do virtually the same thing for 25+ years... but as Bertha was confined to one specific room for her entire existence, and the chuckle brothers had, y'know, the ability to move around and stuff; they had a lot more scope for getting into bizarre scrapes and were able to have some timeless slapstick comedy, that would take me a long time to get bored of. And could be flexible to fit with the times! If Bertha existed now, she'd be replaced by an app. And even then, she'd probably be discontinued because she was no longer compatible with any frequently used hardware. Basically, Bertha- you suck. 

They must have been scraping the bottom of the barrel of ideas in the boardroom the day someone came up with the idea for Bertha. And whoever okayed it to go into production was probably impersonating the real person in charge, who was doubtless forced to watch through soundproofed one-way glass as the impostor single-handedly destroyed their reputation for making quality children's television. 

...yet this did not stop me watching this after breakfast but before school whilst it was being broadcast. It was so bad, I couldn't look away. 

What about you? Can you remember any shockingly bad, but strangely hypnotic children's tv shows with irritatingly stick-in-your-head theme tunes? Let me know in the comments!! They're the sorts of things people love to hate!

Today, this is me: 

See you tomorrow!

-Rosa

x