Hey Splodgies!!
There's something I realised I've never talked about on my blog. And that thing is THE MILK SAFE.
I don't know why I've never talked about it on here because its utterly hilarious. A long time ago, we used to have a lot of problems with our milk being stolen off our doorstep or worse still; smashed, meaning that we had to clean it up! I liked to think that it was stolen by somebody like this:
But in reality, we reckoned that when it was stolen (usually in the depths of winter) it was probably being stolen by somebody homeless who genuinely needed the milk. And of course we still had to pay for it, because it had been delivered.
It was time for decisive action, because WE WANTED OUR MILK! so this is what happened:
....that's right. We have a safe on our doorstep. For milk. FOR MILK. We have a key, and the milkman has a key. Its a simple system. And it seems ridiculous. Because it is. We even have a little keyring with a bell and an M for milk on it. I think Amber made it, but now I'm not sure. We've had our milk delivered directly into the safe for about 7 or 8 years now, I think. It is the subject of much hilarity among many of my friends. Its a staple of comedy in our circle.
It might just be my bizarre family that does stuff like this. But what about you? Got any weird security measures at your house? Let me know, so I can get around them and break into your house to steal all your stuff. Just kidding! Let me know if its as hilarious and silly as a milk safe. Otherwise, keep your security details to yourself, dude!
Today, this is me, pondering if anyone else in the universe has a doorstep milk delivery safe:
See you tomorrow!
-Rosa
x
***ADDITIONAL INFORMATION***
My mother informs me that we did not have to pay for milk when it was stolen. And lots of people in he neighbourhood were also having their milk stolen. So it wasn't the odd pint, it was repeated and vindictive milk thievery! It was a bad deal for everyone! Including the milk man! Milk thriving bastards stealing not only our milk, but a milkman's livelihood!! Now I am super glad that we have a milk safe!
A mother writes: In the end I think it wasn't a homeless person
ReplyDeleteI would be Ok to give someone the odd pint
of milk if they are desperate but we were losing most of the milk plus the milkman didn't charge us if it was stolen so not fair on him either
It was mad. He kept hiding it in new places but it kept being stolen
So the safe seemed the only solution !