Good evening splodgekins!
Do you ever find that in a moment of needing something, the thing you need is not where it is supposed to be? And as the time passes whilst looking for it, the need for the object becomes greater because the time is passing. And with that comes the panic that makes your search ineffective. And with THAT comes the frustration that makes you look for the object in question in ridiculous places, like in my case this evening, under the sink.
This evening I was cooking my dinner, making a pasta sauce as usual, and the pasta was a few minutes away from being ready and thus it was time to put the tomatoes in the sauce. The one problem being that I don't have a tin opener, and I don't know if my housemates have realised this yet, but I regularly borrow their kitchen tools- usually just a small saucepan and the tin opener- because a lot of my kitchen utensils were either left in my old house in Manchester, or stolen by one of the people living there. Anyway, I digress; there I was all ready to put the tomatoes in the sauce when I reach for the tin opener, and....
ITS GONE. Even though I swear I saw it just two minutes ago.
So BAM! Panic. I look over at the dish rack next to the sink. Of course its piled high in a complete mess, that requires some major deconstruction before anything can be found. so I try to pick it apart.
The light bulb has blown so its dark and difficult to see anything, so I whip out my phone and turn the torch on.
Nothing...
I rummage through all four drawers of cutlery and assorted kitchen bric-a-brac. Still nothing, and all the while the clock is ticking down and the pasta will be ready BEFORE the sauce, which we all know is culinary suicide.
So I look in the utensil jar next to the microwave. Its not there.
The two cupboards under the work surface. Not there either. Even when searching with the torch. At this point I start to consider baked beans as a substitute for they open with a ring pull. But again, culinary suicide.
Its not in the cupboard where the mugs are kept either. Or on the shelves with the plates and bowls.
The last place left to look seems absurd, but with less than 2 minutes to go, I have no choice but to open the cupboard under the sink. With a great big slam of frustration, I slam the cupboard doors and a breeze drifts across the worktop, shifting the plastic bag somebody had left on top of it. And guess what was lying underneath? ONLY THE FUCKING TIN OPENER.
I breathe a sigh of relief and begin opening the tin of tomatoes as quickly as possible. Fortunately everything is fine on the culinary front. However I'm making mental notes to go and buy my own tin opener so that I'm always sure of exactly where it is when I need it.
...But really this is NOT a unique phenomenon. There are loads of other objects that just disappear right when you need them- to pick another culinary example, oven gloves. To pick a non-culinary example, keys- more specifically, the correct key to a door you must get through in order to escape a very cross dog. You need these things to be at hand for when you absolutely need them. And then when they're not, disaster can ensue. Another, more life threatening example, a life belt. Or a fire blanket. All things you need to have quick access to for immediate effect. And they are frequently either not there at all or very difficult to find when you need them.
There are less urgent things that inexplicably go missing when you turn your head for a second, too. Such as styluses for tablets and games consoles. You put them down for a second, and look away- you turn back and they're gone! Same for things like TV remotes or tuning forks or plectrums. The same for the little screw that keeps your glasses together, but you DEFINITELY put it down there because you went to go and get the little screwdriver to fix your glasses. This particular problem made all the more difficult because you can see because you can't fix your glasses because you can't find the screw to fix your glasses because you can't see!!
...its an endless cycle of lost or missing things.
What do you think? Anything particularly prone to being lost in a crucial moment? Let me know in the comments.
Today, this is me:
See you tomorrow!
-Rosa
x
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