Dealing With Disappointment

Hello splodgies!

Today I'm gonna write about dealing with disappointment. Because we've all faced it. Not passing a test first time, or being stood up or let down by a friend or even not quite meeting your own targets. Its not an uncommon thing to be disappointed. So I thought this is something most people can relate to.

Personally I find that dealing with disappointment is something that comes in stages. For me, its like this:

1. THE SULK- yes. I admit it. I am an adult and I sulk. Sulk sulk sulk. But usually its only when I have good reason to be sulking- like I have been disappointed. And usually I will do this by shutting myself away in my house and not going out for a bit, or even as long as a few days depending on the severity of my disappointment. Generally, its best for me to acknowledge my own sulking. I will usually say something to at least one of my family members that I'm feeling crappy so I'm going to go and have a sulk where I won't bother anyone. I may resort to chocolate during the sulk phase. (Actually, I have chocolate all the time- its one of my few vices- but I tend to have more during a sulk)

2. DENIAL/DETACHMENT- Pretty self explanatory... I think a lot of people go through a spell of pretending that it simply isn't happening. either through refusal to talk to other people about it or by ignoring the world completely. Often can run partially parallel to The Sulk. Also can involve binge watching a really great TV series. For example, I watched all the way to midway through the second series of Orange Is The New Black whilst waiting for series 2 episode 9 of Orphan Black. The only difference here being that I talk to as many people as possible about Orphan Black. 

3. ACCEPTANCE-  You know what....this is the hardest part. To accept that something has, for whatever reason, not gone the way you wanted it to. Usually this is much easier to accept if it wasn't your fault- e.g. your parcel still hasn't arrived, but that's not your fault because you didn't pick your courier, the person sending it did. Much harder to accept is when something is your own fault. e.g. I didn't pass my exam because I didn't revise enough/properly. This is what leads us on to...

4. MOVING ON FROM IT ALL - in the case of the "not my fault" disappointment situations, I find its best to take a deep sigh, a step back and actively decide to learn from the situation. Using the parcel example again, you might decide not to order from that seller again, or ask them to use a different, more reliable courier. In the case of "it is my fault" it is a little more complicated. Lets carry on with the failed exam example- Why did I not revise properly? Was it a lack of time management? Then next time, I'll make a proper time table and I'll stick to it. Was it a poor attitude? Next time, I will try to be more focussed. Was it because I didn't care about this exam? Next time I will only work towards exams for things I really care about. Planning for the future to avoid disappointment another time. 

But thats just how I do it. I'm sure there's lots of ways! 

One more thing though- I've heard a lot of people say (both in films and tv and in real life) that it is high expectations that set us up for disppointment. To that I say bullshit. There are lots of times when you can go in with high expectations and still have them exceeded. And having low expectations, particularly of yourself, gives you an excuse to be cynical and prone to depressive tendancies.

[N.B. I'm not saying this about people who are clinically depressed, I am talking about people who are of healthy enough a mind to know the difference. Those who are, or suspect they may be depressed in the clinical sense of the term should seek help from a doctor or counsellor... or someone who can give them the right advice and help they need to get them feeling well again]

What about you? How have you dealt with disappointment in the past? Got a different way to the way I cope? Let me know in the comments.

In other news, I wasn't disappointed today- I had an awesome adventure with my friends in Windemere- we went to the one place I was denied in my childhood lake district excursions- THE WORLD OF BEATRIX POTTER ATTRACTION!! It was, as my friend said "probably the best £6.95 I ever spent" 

Today, this is me enjoying a dark chocolate digestive at lunchtime: 

See you tomorrow!

-Rosa

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