"Fashionable Ukulele"

Hello Splodgies! 

As the last few posts on my blog have been so dull I've published them, but not shared them anywhere on social media, I thought now might be a good time to blow myself out of the water with my own weirdry. 

I present to you, the one time only 

UKULELE FASHION BLOG!! 

ok, so when you google "Fashionable ukulele" what comes up are mainly pictures like this: 

And to me, that says "well you can't even see the ukulele at all!" and look at that person with the ukulele- what a poser! This is no good! 

Ukuleles seem to be on the ever rising trend! So I decided I'd create my very own brand of ukulele fashion. It seems like everyone is creating a fashion blog of their own these days anyway. What's In (thats in with a capital I) this season, in uke fashion? I'm glad you asked...

Teen Uke Fashion

The shades. The shirt. The shoes. It says it all. This is the height of teen uke fashion. We asked our model, Teenor (Tenor + Teen, get it??) a few questions:

R: Thanks for being here today

T: Whatever, maaaan.

R: Have you enjoyed being here at the Daily Splodge photoshoot? 

T: its alright...

R: Why are you wearing sunglasses indoors?

T: Its IRONIC.

R: What are your hopes for the future?

T: Can you shut up a minute? I'm trying to play candy crush. 

...there you have it, folks! 

Teenor insisted on having a black and white photo of itself staring into the mid distance away to the left of the photographer. The photographer who was very patient. #NoFilter.

Young Hipster Trends

[For the purposes of the following interview, Bari's voice should be read in the voice of the Gap-Yah guy from that video a few years back]

Our model Bari was more keen to have a chat with us after the photo shoot.

R: Hi Bari. It's been really great working with you today

B: Yah, yah, its been, like totally fantastic to meet you all. Great people. Great people. 

R: What did you think of the clothes? 

B: Oh yeah, I mean, totally on trend, you know? That scarf, its actually made from Himalayan mohair, but its so finely woven you can hardly tell.

R: The hat and the shoes seem to work really flatteringly for your body type

B: Oh, yeah yeah. Totes vintage. I try to dress to suit my figure- that's the key to it. And of course you never want to over accessorise. 

R: Of course not.

B: No, never. 

R: What are some of your favourite accessories not in the photoshoot today then? 

B: Oh yeah yeah... well that's, like totally an impossible question, I really can't choose. I might have to say my cassette player- I think it sounds, y'know, more authentic to how the original artists intended it? Music is a very, like, important influence in my life. 

R: Really? What kind of music are you listening to at the moment?

B: Yeah, well you've probably, like, totes never heard of them. There's actually, like, two bands that 

I'm really into right now- Broken String and Splintered Fret Board- they always play together and they have four of the same members. Totes shaking up the status quo of the genre.

R: What genre is that then?

B: Oh you know, bit of folk, bit of jazz, bit of casual death metal- that sort of thing.

R:. ....right. So will we be seeing you again for another Uke Fashion photoshoot? 

B: Oh yeah, for sure for sure. So long as I've finished my screen play.

R: You're writing a screen play?

B: Yeah, totes. I'm actually going to starbucks strait after this to see if I can get a little bit more of the structural narrative planned out. Gonna go grab myself a venti skinny latte with two shots of hazelnut syrup and find myself a corner where I'm visible from the outside and visible from the inside, but nobody but me can see the screen of my macbook pro- just so everyone can see the apple glowing on the outside.

R: Goodluck with that...

Kid Uke Fashion

Most kids this age are considered clever if they can stand up by themselves, and this is why our fashion designer (that is to say, I) have decided to keep things really simple and minimal with this next design for the under 2s. 

A simple, knitted hat. Keeping the tuning pegs and the upper fretboard nice and cosy, so as not to slip out of tune so quickly. Shiny black eyes to emphasise cuteness and those ever adorable ears. 

This is what the album cover would look like if the three ukes formed their own band: 

And this would be the inside cover art work with the track listings on the next page: 

Are you on the inside track on Ukulele fashion? if you weren't before, you are now! If you think you know what's hot and what's not, what's in and what's out, who is and who so is not in the world of ukulele fashion, leave me a comment and let me know what you think! 

N.B, currently on the Out list are:

Poor quality strings

Electroukes without resonators

Felt plectrums. 

....and that's all that we know of. 

Today, this is me, hanging out with Teenor just before the photo shoot: 

See you tomorrow!

-Rosa

x

...I'm really not sure how much more bizarre I can make this. What am I doing....??